Weekly Braaaaiins: How To Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

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Grace is practicing her how-to writing, so she came up with this little step-by-step for how to deal with a zombie invasion.  Enjoy and be safe!  (By the way – Grace is planning to write a little about zombies each week to keep you safe and educated.  Look for her Weekly Braaaaiins features in the future.)

Surviving the zombie apocalypse is a key skill for all readers of Weekly Braaaaiins, so here are a few steps to help you stay alive.

First, you need to gather some supplies. You will need canned food, bottled water, blankets, flashlights, batteries (we suggest a lot), and a weapon. You can find all this at your local abandoned Wal-Mart®.

Next, you will need to find a safe place. Perhaps your basement or a warehouse? You want to find someplace sturdy with as few windows a possible, just in case the zombies get frisky.

Make sure to keep your weapon on you at all times. If you have children, keep them within reach. If a single zombie is coming to you, don’t panic. Zombies are slow and fall apart easily, but remember to aim at the head. Of course, chopping them into bite-sized pieces would work, too, but that may be a little too morbid. You should only panic if a large group of corpses start to come after you. If so, run for your life.

You might want to take this time spent cowering in the corner to devise a plan for the next time the world ends. What will you do? Where will you go? Just remember, if you follow these steps, your brains should be safe.

-Weekly Braaaaiins

5 responses »

  1. This is so cool. I wrote a post similar to this one. Tongue-in-cheek. Love your advice about the canned food and hitting an abandoned Wal-Mart. Some folk during that time will think the place is a no-go since they believe zombies may still be in those aisles. But without any zombie food of their own, I don’t see zombies hangin’ out at Wal-Mart! Anyway, great post!

  2. Pingback: Some Zombie Advice… « Nerd in the Brain

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